That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
