Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
