he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
