I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
