what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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