So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Who died my cat blue again?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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