Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
