Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
