If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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