Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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