i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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