I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
And then my night got REAL pukey
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
