I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
