To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
