Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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