yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
