NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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