If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
