So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
