i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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