using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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