im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
