Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
