Everything about him screamed your future.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
