would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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