Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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