one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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