What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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