I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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