I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I looked at my own cervix.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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