And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
