i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
