just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
