i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
