Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
