return my video game
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Randomize
