I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
