I wish I could punch you in the face.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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