She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
