Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
