I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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