the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
