and you said cock pushups were impossible
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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