he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
