is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
