Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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