I CAN MOONWALK!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
