i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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