TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
