Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I can't put those talents on a resume
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
