also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
