She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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