i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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