it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I want to be your penis for a week.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
